28 things I learned from the Schiavo case

Proudly stolen from this Daily Kos Diary:

1. Jeb Bush, George W. Bush, and Tom Delay are all world renowned neurologists.
   
2. 22 successive court battles that all ended in exactly the same way means there is something wrong with the courts, not the Schindler's case.
   
3. Mike is after money which is why he turned down 1 million dollars and 10 million dollars to sign over guardianship.
   
4. Congress and the State Legislature of Florida has nothing better to do than pry into the private medical affairs of others.
   
5. Pulling life support is bad in Florida when authorized by the legal next-of-kin, but pulling life support is good in Texas when you run out of money and the mother pleads not to pull the plug on her baby.
   
6. Medical diagnoses are best performed by watching highly edited videotape made by Randall Terry rather than in person by trained physicians.
   
7. Minimum wage making nursing assistants are more qualified to diagnose a persistent vegetative state than experienced neurologists.
   
8. Cerebral spinal fluid is a magical potion that can mimic the entire functions of a missing cerebral cortex.
   
9. 15 years in the same persistent state is not really enough time to make an accurate diagnosis.
   
10. A feeding tube that infuses yellow nutritional goop is not really "life support".
    
11. Jesus was wrong when he said that a man and woman should leave their parents and cleave only to each other.
    
12. Marriage is the most sacred of all unions, except when it isn't.
    
13. Interfering in a family's private tragedy is a great reason to cut short a vacation, but getting a memo that warns a known terrorist is determine to strike inside the US is cause to relax and finish up some R&R.
    
14. Pro-lifers are really compassionate people which is why they are hoping that Michael Schiavo dies a horrible painful death.
    
15. The Supreme Court of the United States and the State Supreme Court of Florida mean "Maybe" when they are saying "No!".
    
16. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a bleeding heart liberal.
    
17. 7 Supreme Court Justices were appointed by Republican presidents, so it's Clinton's fault.
    
18. A judge who makes rulings based on the law is obviously an atheist, liberal, democratic activist even though he is a conservative, republican, Southern Baptist.
    
19. You can tattoo eyeballs on your buttcheeks and talk out of your anus on cable news and be given airtime and called "an expert in the field."
    
20. If you talk about something long enough, no matter how illogical, stupid or trivial, fundies somewhere sometime will kill somebody over it.
    
21. After 15 yrs. in a Persistent Vegetative State, a person can be rehabilitated if the parents really think so.
    
22. Activist judges are fine if they're your activist judges.
    
23. God sends people with PVS to Hell if they remove life support.
    
24. "Culture of life" refers only to white people. School kids shot in Minnesota - so what? Tsunami - so what? Iraqi victims - so what?
    
25. Charlatan Psychic John Edward is qualified to give expert commentary on the facts of this case on a news program.
    
26. If GOP spokespeople are all using the same talking points, any GOP talking points memo leaked to the press was obviously written by Democrats.
    
27. Getting nominated for a Nobel Prize involves merely the recommendation of an American politician.
    
28. Terri's parents were so overwhelmed that Terri tried to tell them, on March 15, that "I waaaaaant to live," that they somehow forgot to mention it to the courts until they filed a brief ten days later.